Morning Pages, Day One
Well, this is a crazy idea. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I should. Last night I called F and she came right over. We sat under the darkening sky and T built us a fire in the firepit....
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Morning Pages - Day 2
I almost always have a song in my head when I wake up. This morning it's Florence and the Machines, "What the Water Gave Me". ‘Cause they took your loved onesBut returned them in exchange for youBut...
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This one has to be quick and I am already judging it. Because today the hatred is hard to crawl out of, which makes it hard to crawl out of bed. How does this happen to me by Wednesday? Wednesdays are...
View ArticleMorning Pages - Day 4
I'm so tired. Why am I so tired? I need help to change my morning monologue in my head. This morning's song is Lana Del Rey's "Off to the Races". Could be appropriate. But I have such a simple job. I...
View ArticleMorning Pages - Day 5
This day brought to you by fingerprints, dog hair, and more Lana del Rey lyrics. Hmm...maybe I need to listen to less of Lana del Rey. Yesterday was my "day off". I always have high hopes for my day...
View ArticleMorning Pages - Day 6
Dear Jenny,I know you don't know what to write. I know the terrain you see and you don't know if it needs to be described. But it does to you. Because you are doing really well navigating it.I know it...
View ArticleReflection - Day 7
It's Day 7 in my 100 day journey. Sabbath. Theoretically. So.I have heard several soundbites over the weeks that tell me what I'm doing is not what I need to be doing. As in, "Your blog is not for...
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Evening Pages - Day 8
I don't know if this is cheating, to write in the evening, but I decided it isn't, even though I got to think about what I wanted to write about before I started. Because "cheating" can be shaming...
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Morning Pages - Day 9
I don't want to write this morning. I want everyone to read yesterday's post about my friend. If I start writing about what's going on with me so soon, it might dilute his. I don't want that. But it's...
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Mid-Day Pages - Day 11
Today's "assignment" for showing myself some mega-love is a self portrait. My first reaction? F***.I recently had new head shots taken. Out of 150, I accepted nine. It was all about the neck. I hate...
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Mid-Afternoon - Day 13
I think I write more about grief and tears than joy and glee. But I want to be known as someone who plays all the piano octaves. I am bass and treble. Piano and forte. Here's something from several...
View ArticleWhat Time Is It? - Day 14
I feel the need to remind myself and anyone who reads that my current posts are off-the-cuff.And they're supposed to be as honest as possible. It's part of my therapy. Fast and honest. Woah, baby.Could...
View ArticleMorning Pages - Day 15
I'm pretty sure that what I'm feeling today is what Brene Brown calls a vulnerability hangover.When I searched for vulnerability hangover, this was the first article that came up. As I read through it,...
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This One's Dedicated to One I Love - Day 16
I want (need) to tell you a story.When I was very pregnant with my third child, my second child was admitted to the hospital. I remember laying with him on our bed and calling a nurse. "He needs help!"...
View ArticleUm, F*** Mother's Day?
So if I told you this is a difficult weekend for me would you still read? Or would you sigh deeply and think, "Here goes Jenny again?"If it's the latter, you don't need to keep reading.(As for me, keep...
View ArticleIt's Complicated
**Swear word ahead - fair warning**It's so complicated I've written about it, deleted it, and am now sitting down to write about it again, knowing the doorbell is ringing any moment with our dinner...
View ArticleDay ? - Let's Talk About Cravings
It starts around...no joke...11am. The thought begins..."I want to feel good."Cuz, see, I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Does that mean I HAVE fibromyalgia? I have no idea.What I do know? Since...
View ArticleDay 21 - I Can't Do This Anymore...Except...
The goal was to write off the cuff 100 days straight. Living unedited in front of others helps me uncover what I really need to know. But again, I woke up last night and really wanted to delete. I've...
View ArticleDay 22 - I Don't Know How to do More than This.
I did it. I made it through another work week.But I come home to ALL THE THINGS. The unmade bed, unwalked dog, unemptied dishwasher.And I am learning. All those things remain. Time for rest and...
View ArticleDay 23 - Reminder
I wasn't sure at first why I woke up with this song. A constant reminder of where I can find herA light that might give up the wayIs all that I'm asking forwithout her I'm lostBut my love, don't fade...
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